All right, Winter. We get it. You have chewed up our roads and our attitudes, delayed our flights, cooped up our children in the houses day after bitter day.
You have shredded our nerves on ice-slicked streets and filled the coffers of auto repair shops and manufacturers of Ice Melt.
You’re ice-cold, windy, snow-throwing hard-core. Chuck Norris bad.
You win. You can have the last word. We tap out, cry “Uncle,” wave the white flag.
Are you happy now?
You should be. You dumped another 7 inches on us Wednesday and pushed us around with some 35-mph winds after teasing us with 50 degrees on Tuesday. That was just a tad unnecessary, no?
We tried. We really did. We filled our Facebook pages and Instagram accounts with pictures of snowmen and our fluff-filled patios. We have forwarded memes about buying all the ingredients for French toast with each new weather warning.
We scraped our windshields, washed the salt from our cars and shoveled our brains out.
But now, we’re through. We know you think you have roughly two more weeks with which to torment us, but please don’t. Retailers won’t even sell us snow shovels and gloves this time of year. All that is available to us are bikinis and beach towels.
And the experts told us about two weeks ago that “meteorological spring” was upon us.
That conjures thoughts of daffodils in the strip on Main Street between the Allen County Courthouse and the Rousseau Centre. It means tulips in Foster Park.
It does not, under any circumstances, mean a record-setting snowfall on March 12. It does not mean power outages and a controlled slide in our vehicles as we try for the umpteenth time since December to safely get to work.
Can you see, Winter, why we’d be confused? And a tad bitter?
“They”– namely Courtney Obergfell, a staff meteorologist at the National Weather Service’s office in Syracuse – cannot promise us you won’t be completely gone by the official first day of spring.
In fact, she said that historically, Indiana has had snow into April, and yes, while that is true and an occurrence not too far in the distant past, we do not have to like it.
Some of us feel you actually underachieved when you had the chance. The winter snowfall total for 1982 was 81.2 inches. You could have gotten us to that total, when we were more in the mood and maybe even cheering you on.
You stopped short, though. Our total for the 12-month year stands 72.2 inches. So just give it a rest, all right?
Consider this the last time we ask nicely.
Weather data and information provided by the National Weather Service.