FORT WAYNE – OK, the combatants are set for Super Bowl XLVIII. And in case you slept during Roman numeral training, that’s 48.
The big day is Feb. 2 at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey, and nothing suggests having a party like the Great American Football Game.
Most people above the age of V have attended a Super Bowl party or II. The event has, after all, become a national tradition, perhaps equaling the kind of revelry normally reserved for New Year’s Eve. But instead of a glittering ball descending at midnight, as it does in Times Square IX miles away, this particular ball will be kicked.
So with that in mind, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, take your places, please. The soiree is XIII days away.
Whether the party is in your home or someone else’s, here are VIII super tips to make the event a success:
I Have a television. This is a real important item, and size does matter. If you have a large room, a large TV is a must; 55 inches or more. High definition if possible, so all in attendance can clearly see the compound fracture occur.
II Have additional televisions. In the event that you don’t have an adequate number of pixels or inches in the main television, then smaller, auxiliary TVs should be positioned throughout the home. Bathrooms, for example, are ideal locales to ensure that a play is not missed. If there are children at the event, maybe a TV in the playroom, just in case you hear something shatter, such as a glass vase; or collapse, such as a bed. You’d hate to miss an exciting touchdown run while reminding Johnny not to swing like Batman from the light fixture.
IV Drink. Again, the host will likely provide something, but don’t be a bigger tool and come loaded. A six-pack of trendy beer is adequate. A 12-pack to share is generous. Hauling in a case of long necks iced in a cooler, just for you, is not recommended.
V Atmosphere. This is up to the party host. Notice the day of the game: Feb. 2 – that’s Groundhog Day. Greet your guests with the Bill Murray movie playing on the large 55-inch television. They’ll think you’re clever. However, make sure to stop the movie once the game begins. There’s only so much of Sonny and Cher anyone can endure.
VI Decorations. Overrated. No need to go Martha Stewart and have football-themed or color-coordinated tablecloths and napkins. When the game is over, it’s all thrown away.
VII Games. Ah, perhaps the joie de vivre of the gathering. Gamble a bit. If you’re not inclined to invest real funds, be they quarters or dollars, utilize other forms of currency. Make proposition bets, such as which team wins the coin toss, or how long the national anthem will last, or a particular quarterback will throw for more or less than 250 yards in the game. Devise a 100-square numbers grid in which party-goers may place their initials, then randomly choose numbers across and down. If the score is tied 3-3 after the first quarter, then that person owning that matching square wins.
VIII Pick a team. Root for that team for good reason. At game’s end, winners may polish off the little weenies while watching the losers sing their high school fight song.