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Rants and Raves

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Truly devoted fans of “A Christmas Story” might consider emulating the Parkers’ holiday meal.

Gifts opened; now what? Duck, walk, flick

It can be hard to know what to do on Christmas Day after all the pretty packages have been opened and the toys inside them have been broken.

Here are some ideas.

Get the duck – Lots of folks visit Chinese restaurants on Christmas Day, but only true cineastes, cinephiles and owners of leg lamps order the duck.

They wish to pay tribute to the denouement of “A Christmas Story,” in which the Parkers, still smarting from having watched the Bumpus hounds decimate their Christmas turkey, repair to a local Chinese restaurant and feast on Peking duck.

Peking duck takes a while to prepare.

Most restaurants ask that you call and request it 24 hours in advance of your visit.

But there are lots of other ways to enjoy duck locally with less lead time, including tea-smoked duck at Wu’s Fine Chinese Cuisine at 4411 Coldwater Road, and Lychee Duck and Spiced Duck at Yen Ching at 6410 W. Jefferson Blvd.

You could always hunt your own duck, of course. Knowing you, however, you’d probably just shoot your eye out.

Start watching probable Oscar nominees – Oscar nominations won’t be announced until Jan. 24, but you can rest assured that some of the films currently playing in the Fort Wayne area will be represented on that list in some form or fashion, including “The Descendants,” “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo,” “Hugo,” “My Week with Marilyn” and “War Horse.”

Go to the movie theater and witness a cinematic Christmastime miracle – Not one but two new sequels have bucked all odds, trends and unspoken Hollywood rules about preserving mediocrity at all costs and opened to better reviews than their predecessor(s) received.

Most critics agree that “Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol” and “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows” are the best films in their respective series thus far.

Since this sort of thing happens roughly as often as someone outside of a soap opera gets amnesia, we should remember to reward Tinseltown for forgetting how dumb it thinks we are.

Go for a hike in one of our lovely parks or nature preserves – In the 1800s, portly aristocrats would “take an airing,” aka take a short stroll, after Christmas dinner.

This was likely the only break from eating that they took annually, so its importance should not be underestimated.

Luckily, we in Fort Wayne are a little more aware of the importance of exercise, regardless of what Men’s Health says.

I have been assured by Sarah Nichter, manager of information and development for Fort Wayne Parks and Recreation, that all of our area parks will be open today.

In addition, you could always drive up to Huntertown to the Tom and Jane Dustin Nature Preserve, which is now owned and managed by ACRES Land Trust.

When late environmentalists Tom and Jane Dustin were still alive, I spent many a winter and summer day on their land, and it is like nowhere else in Fort Wayne.

Jason Kissel, executive director of ACRES, says the main gate will be locked today, but people are more than welcome to park their cars in a non-obstructive public spot and hike the preserve. A map can be found at www.acreslandtrust.org/dustin.

Watch many episodes of the same TV show – Christmas is a day for TV marathons.

“Gilmore Girls,” “The Incredible Dr. Pol,” “Untold Story of the E.R.,” “House Hunters,” “Storage Hunters,” “Hardcore Pawn,” “Family Feud,” “The Outer Limits,” “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,” “Friday Night Lights,” “Gearz,” “Ken Burns’ Baseball,” “Mythbusters,” “Firefly,” “Two Fat Ladies,” “Drake & Josh” and “The Amazing World of Gumball” are just some of the shows that people will watch guiltlessly for hours today without fear of ever being asked, “Why are you watching a ‘Family Feud’ marathon?’ ”

And if what you really want after a weekend’s worth of quality time with your family is footage of people committing crimes and nearly being killed, then marathons of “Caught on Camera” and “1000 Ways To Die” are “just what the doctor ordered,” a cliché that should not prevent you from discussing your Christmas TV watching habits with an actual psychiatrist just to see whether he might be inclined to order something else entirely.

Rent a hotel room just so you can swim in the pool – ’Nuff said.

Steve Penhollow is an arts and entertainment writer for The Journal Gazette. His column appears Sundays. He appears Fridays on WPTA-TV, Channel 21, WISE-TV, Channel 33, and WBYR, 98.9 FM to talk about area happenings. Email him at spen@jg.net. A Facebook page for “Rants & Raves” can be accessed at www.facebook.com/pages.