Q. Several years ago I was accused of falsifying documents by a male co-worker. My managers knew my co-worker was untrustworthy, so the accusations were ignored.
Now my accuser works in another division and talks frequently with my staff. How do I protect myself from a repeat of slander without appearing slanderous myself?
A. You cannot protect yourself from bad-mouthing. In fact, the more successful, visible or powerful you become, the more you will be gossiped about.
Success breeds envy, and envy breeds the desire to destroy what is envied. You are smart to anticipate your accuser will repeat his behavior. Many executives I coach get into avoidable trouble when they naively give second chances. Social scientists tell us personality is like concrete after age 30. Most folks don’t change their spots. Your best immunity against gossip is to behave with respect, decency and clear boundaries.
Encourage workplace relationships with staff and be sure problems are brought to you quickly. You are right that if you broadcast your co-worker is an unreliable rat – the only reputation you hurt is your own.
It’s not cheating, however, to brief those key people who have frequent exposure to him.
Say something like this to them: “Several years ago, Jack told my managers I falsified documents. My managers took no action because they knew Jack was incorrect. I have to believe he took these actions because he had a misunderstanding regarding my work. I do not anticipate he would repeat this behavior.”
Now I realize you do anticipate he would repeat this behavior. However, you can know something and stay silent. If you want to protect your reputation, then be the person who is generous and understanding in your descriptions of others. You can still be mad internally.
Most folks are reluctant to believe anyone would really do anything bad to anyone else. It’s the old “serial killers can’t live in my neighborhood” frame of mind.
Even though your co-worker obviously had bad intentions, other people won’t want to know about it. However, this will eventually work to your advantage. If your co-worker continues to bad mouth you, others will eventually get tired of his nasty stories.
R.L. Wing in the “I Ching Workbook” has advice about the importance of patience in dealing with snakes: “Inferior persons are destroyed by their own evil, for without power, negativity is self-consuming.”
The last word(s)
Q. I’d like to have job stability. Which careers are guaranteed employment these days?
A. None. These days, a wide skill set that includes ability to deal with people and change will keep you employed better than looking for stability.
