Perhaps it was just an unfortunate juxtaposition.

A week or so ago, after Britney Spears failed to make the court date concerning visitation rights with her children, some photos subsequently circulated of the pop singer shopping while carrying a tiny dog.

I don’t know if the photos were taken the same day as the court date. But they disturbed me more than Britney’s baldness or exhibitionism.

The practice of using dogs as fashion accessories has always struck me as creepy, but it seemed more so in this context.

Here is a woman whose competency as a mom is being questioned, who apparently parties more than she parents, and yet she’s walking around lavishing dysfunctional affection on this pooch.

That dog had clothes on! She took the time to dress a dog.

There seems to be no rhyme or reason to what Spears takes the time to do these days.

To be fair, the dog probably provides her a measure of comfort.

But the message I read in those photos was, “Here’s a creature that loves me unconditionally, and by loves I mean fears. I will master this tiny mammal in a way I can’t master the rest of my life!”

Purse dogs, as in dogs the size of small purses or dogs small enough to be carried around in small purses, used to be the exclusive purview of zaftig society matrons, or so the Sunday funnies led us to believe.

A woman of a certain age who leaned down periodically to whisper and coo at something inside her purse thought she was striking the most adorable pose possible. In fact, she seemed more to us like the ventriloquist who starts to believe his dummy is alive.

These days, portable dogs are not just an old-money affectation. Females of all vintages and demographics are carrying these dogs around.

Robert Thompson, professor of television and popular culture at Syracuse University, says that even as the sexes have achieved more parity in society over the past three decades, people’s dog-owning habits have become even more stereotypical.

“On one side, you’ve got these incredibly macho old-fashioned symbols of male power,” he says. “Big dogs associated with various criminal activities. Big, dangerous kind of things that hit the news occasionally because they eat somebody.

“And on the other side, you’ve got dogs so small and helpless that it’s all they can do to stand up.”

In the interest of full disclosure, I must admit I am not a big fan of tiny dogs, whether they are being carried in a purse or are pulling a sled.

Of course you’d need about 1,000 Chihuahuas to pull a sled, and when I envision such a gathering, it seems less like a sled team to me than an infestation.

As cute little things go, tiny dogs have surprisingly low cuteness quotient.

It’s not their fault really. They are handicapped by their arachnid DNA.

All the cuteness in the universe, concentrated, would not justify this accessorizing trend, of course.

I think the only people who should be allowed to carry living things around with them are parents of pre-ambulatory children and teenage boys who are carrying their teenage girlfriends on their shoulders as a way of channeling repressed sexual energy.

But if you are going to pick a canine chum to cart around, why not go with a dog that you can really cuddle with; one that can show and respond to a wide range of emotions? Like a golden retriever.

And think of the weight you’d lose.

I have no hard evidence for this, but I suspect that young women who carry tiny dogs around with them are more interested in the novelty of having something alive in their purse than the responsibility of keeping something alive in their purse.

How many dogs have expired in purses? There is no hard data, although an application for a Frivolous Study Grant is pending.

Perhaps the problem here is that these tiny dogs are still too big, still too much responsibility.

The Chihuahua geneticists are falling down on the job. Need I remind you that my tax dollars pay your salaries, Chihuahua geneticists?!

Can we make a dog small enough to attach a handle to?

Can we genetically engineer a small dog that has a handle growing from its back?

Can we make a dog small enough to mount on a ring or brooch?

Of course we can.

And because we can, we should.

Scarily old-school

For at least a month now, there has been an ominous one-word sign on the building that formerly housed Zoli’s Cafe Continental on Broadway.

It says, “Fear.”

“What could be moving into that historic spot?” those of us who regularly drive down Broadway asked ourselves.

A goth bar?

A motorcycle club?

A buffet that is unusually honest about the pitfalls of dining there?

Well, it’s a new haunted house, as it turns out.

A random meeting and copasetic conversation with the building’s owners led General Motors employee Willie Aguilar to fulfill a longtime dream of designing, constructing and managing his own haunted house attraction.

Aguilar says his haunted house is an attempt to return the concept to its essentials.

“We stay away from clichés like Freddy Krueger and Jason,” he says. “We’re going back to the way it was when I was growing up with more actors to scare people.

“Basically, I’m just trying to scare people,” Aguilar says. “I’m not trying to send them through a maze. I’m trying to send them through an experience.”

Admission is $10.

Fear is open 7 p.m. to midnight Fridays and Saturdays, and 7 to 10 p.m. Thursdays and Sundays through Nov. 3.

It will also be open on Halloween.